I find danger in virtual reality. To me, it is a very uncanny < call of the void >. It's meant to enable destructive creation - characters made out of our masks. A way to indulge in a primal human nature, which in a way fills the holes left by what we're afraid we can't show in everyday life. Destructive creation meant to assassinate a real body for avatars, functioning entirely off our id. Your preferred body, voice, lifestyle, job. Forever changing, and forever accessible. I worry I cant limit the control I have over giving in to being pulled into the web. Beyond virtual alternate reality is fully immersing a consciousness into the machine. Not to be a person or character or disguise, but to murder < myself > by extension of physical emptiness and mental dehumanizing.
hello?
do you know me?
do you miss ⱧɄ₥₳₦ ??
2021 I let the wind decide. One foot over the ledge. If I were to truly become my new form I had to have been abandoned by the Earth. I'm still here, unfortunately. I've been checked out since 2019. I can't even process the trauma anymore, it's all noise - doesn't even feel real. 2004, 2015, 2018, 2021. How long has my body been gone? How long have I been dead? Why am I just dragging this corpse around, when I feel the insects and mold and debris caking under my skin? I talk through people, I'm a permanent actor. Because [I] never had a chance to exist. They took that away from me. There is no humanity in this world. I should have been dead, I'm meant to be dead. People like me kill themselves, don't you understand? Don't go outside. Don't think about the passing glances or every possible thing they can be judging me for. Don't think about how the glances aren't even there. Don't try to be human. Just talk until people like you. Face 1 through 1000, as long as I live I will be a happy masquerade. Let me abandon this shell, all I want is to be a [DIGITAL ANGEL] , but I am chained down by empathy and people that care about me despite it all. Maybe I've ruined myself. Is it my fault for ignoring the opportunities I've been given because I'm just too bitter? I die in a dream every night. I wish the myths were true, I wish it would just kill me so I can go away into my own imagination. Buzzing is everything, now unavoidable. Nature is scary. Silence is scary. The hum is important. It's all I have.