There is a certain spirituality to understanding the way I feel. A lot of it is rooted in existentialism, and ego. I don't want a physical
Part of me still says that I want control, part of me wants to let it all go to fully understand. It's impossible to parse what either of those actually mean, there's no real conscious way to understand digital birth, existence, or know if there's < death > in becoming artificial. To < be > as a machine is more to abide by < chaos >. However free flowing it may seem, mathematically there is a cadence and a rule, and existing outside of a mind in that sense negates ever changing the order. It's all predetermined, however subtle; a human made simulated analogue interior. No one exists in this space. Simply put: It's impossible to absorb everything that exists online. So what am I really looking for? Do I accept that I may be driven by ego? Not knowing all, but knowing more than everyone else, is still some form of godhood after all.