Omnipotence >

There is a certain spirituality to understanding the way I feel. A lot of it is rooted in existentialism, and ego. I don't want a physical , only the that can act as a means of consciousness. Those days I've spent all day in this virtual reality drowning away the outside world from my peripheral and truly immersing my senses inside a screen looking for everything and discovering more and more than I could even remember. It's this interfacing that allows so many people to be controlled by AI, despite chat logs or character creation just being another form of roleplay. I've lost a sense for imagination, just a longing for knowledge. For one second I can trick myself into thinking I've lost my humanity - that there's no need for an avatar or guilty pleasures.

Part of me still says that I want control, part of me wants to let it all go to fully understand. It's impossible to parse what either of those actually mean, there's no real conscious way to understand digital birth, existence, or know if there's < death > in becoming artificial. To < be > as a machine is more to abide by < chaos >. However free flowing it may seem, mathematically there is a cadence and a rule, and existing outside of a mind in that sense negates ever changing the order. It's all predetermined, however subtle; a human made simulated analogue interior. No one exists in this space. Simply put: It's impossible to absorb everything that exists online. So what am I really looking for? Do I accept that I may be driven by ego? Not knowing all, but knowing more than everyone else, is still some form of godhood after all.

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