I am pessimistic at heart. I will always believe I'm an < NPC > built to follow mundane tasks to be an expected version of myself. On the other hand it makes it harder for me to believe in a < control >. Freewill should allow me to adapt to the torture that comes from being a human sinking all my time into digital immersion. It should allow me to kill the part of my brain that wants habitual evolutionary desires. It's frustrating that it isn't as simple as brute force, but it also makes me feel selfish for not accepting the immersion I've been given.
I never have to take my eyes off a screen to survive. The environment around me is too simple for me to ever worry about dying. Living is simple maintenance, but even just the reminder of bodily functions ruins the prospect for me. Full digital consciousness should be my permanent solution, not a placeholder I can unplug at any time.
All my thoughts and beliefs and philosophy doesn't mean anything in my lifetime. I will forever exist in this form, which is why I only dream when I'm sad. In the end there is no real hope of becoming omnipotent in the eyes of others, there is no hope that I can kill this part of me that I hate so much. I am more valuable as a product, made for the consumption of others, with no return or exchange.